To Let it Go, or Not to Let it Go?

I get all watery eyed every time I hear the oh so catchy new Disney song "Let it Go."

Does this happen to anyone else? I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and I think I've discovered something.

Don't get me wrong, Emma and I love Frozen. We watch it almost everyday at lunch time (this is how I get Emma to sit still long enough to eat). Every morning when Emma wakes up, she runs downstairs to the TV and demands in her tiny toddler voice "let it go! let it go!" until I firmly tell her we're not going to watch it. She's obsessed!

Emma downing my strawberry frappuccino

Anyways, I think there's a little bit of Elsa in us all. At some point we all have a weakness, challenge, or trial that we feel we must face alone. I think I cry because I not only feel horribly bad for Elsa and what she is going through, but I also feel sorry for myself and all the times I've felt as Elsa does.

I'm forced to ask myself, "How would I react if I were in Elsa's shoes?" I have to admit, I think Elsa's first reaction (running away, having a rebellious and negative attitude, and refusing to seek help from others) was not the right reaction. But have I reacted the same way in my own life? How do you react when you face a similar situation?

There's something else about the song "Let it Go" that bothers me intensely. It's the spirit of it. Now, you may think I'm going overboard, but I've always felt that music, movies, books, even places and activities, have a certain spirit about them.

-As a side note, I think Nate and I have finally pinned down what it is that we don't love about Seattle: It's spirit. There's a lonely, busy, empty, nothingness spirit that leaves both of us feeling discouraged quite a bit more than usual. It's much more complicated than the cloudiness. It's an almost tangible bleh! It's our only complaint (besides the spiders and traffic). The ward, neighborhood, activities (there are so many fun things to do!) are all fantastic! And we've made some awesome friends!-

Okay, back to Frozen. I think the overall spirit and themes of the movie are pretty positive, and I definitely find it enjoyable to watch, but this song is the exception. Here are the lyrics:

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight

Not a footprint to be seen

A kingdom of isolation

And it looks like I'm the queen

Okay so far, so good. Nothing untoward yet. 

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside

Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried

Don't let them in, don't let them see

Be the good girl you always have to be

Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know

Well, now they know

Okay, this is the first time I notice a CERTAIN bias in the song. I'm not okay with the lie that to be a "good girl" you have to hide all of your imperfections and be alone your whole life. Elsa was not trying to be a "good girl," she was simply trying to protect herself and her family name. Because we as the listener KNOW that Elsa hiding in the first place was clearly not what was best for her, the song slyly convinces us that being a "good girl" is also wrong. I am NOT okay with that subliminal message. 

Let it go, let it go

Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go

Turn away and slam the door

I don't care what they're going to say

Let the storm rage on

The cold never bothered me anyway

Here Elsa shows a rebellious, uncaring attitude, and, as one of the protagonists of the story, I find it VERY unbecoming of a so called hero. YES Elsa needed to make some changes in her life because she wasn't happy, but slamming the door in the face of everything and everyone she had known and loved because she didn't want to try anymore is NOT the right change. Sure, she needs to "let it go" a little, maybe tell her sister the truth and find a way to control her fear, but this is going too far. When she sings the line "the cold never bothered me anyway" my stomach freezes every time. It's such a blatantly selfish thing to say. It's like saying "My (weakness x or y) has never caused me any harm, so I'm going to stop trying to overcome it despite the fact that I'm hurting everyone around me." Elsa is my least favorite character at this point and clearly needs an attitude adjustment.  

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small

And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all

It's time to see what I can do

To test the limits and break through

I actually really like this part of the song. Talk about a pep talk for anyone who is facing a fear that might keep them from reaching their full potential. I'd like to point out that in this story, Elsa's powers are not actually bad. She is not evil because she can freeze things. It's the misuse of that power that is bad. So, Elsa learning to use her power for good is a great thing! Why not right? 

No right, no wrong, no rules for me

I'm free

Yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How could anyone ever say there is no right or wrong? No rules? Are we teaching those lies to our children? Gosh Disney, we know you're progressive and believe in relative morality, but who are you to tell my child that there is no good or bad, or that they don't have to follow rules? I wonder how many little girls blissfully and ignorantly singing along are going to end up rebellious and adrift? This REALLY scares me!

Let it go, let it go

I am one with the wind and sky

Let it go, let it go

You'll never see me cry

Here I stand and here I stay

Let the storm rage on

My power flurries through the air into the ground

My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around

And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast

I'm never going back, the past is in the past

Let it go, let it go

When I rise like the break of dawn

Let it go, let it go

That perfect girl is gone

Here I stand in the light of day

Let the storm rage on

The cold never bothered me anyway

Here it is again with the idea that what she was before was "perfect" which makes us hate the idea of being perfect

because we hate the life she had before. Very clever Disney! Way to teach my toddler that it's way better to give up, stop trying to be good, "let it go" and do whatever your body or mind or free spirit demands. The overall message of this song is GIVE UP, not "let it go." Actually, I think we could all let go of a few negative strings in our lives, but lets not sever the good strings please. Thanks.  

I'm I'm sorry I put you through that! I really just needed to have an analytical moment! Sheesh!

Okay, so now you're all thinking I'm WAY too uptight, but I'm not, I promise. Actually, I just read a nonfiction (I know, that automatically makes me nuts) book called "The Storytelling Animal" which is a great read, by the way, and I learned something VERY interesting. Well, it just confirmed what I think we all instinctively already know: Fiction brainwashes us. Or at the very least affects us down deep, where we keep our personal beliefs and the core of who we are and who we want to become. So be careful what you absorb from your reading/watching!

For example, I am a member of the Disney Princess era. You'll probably say this is a coincidence, but I'm going to tell you I know it's not. Watching Cinderella, Snow White, Aurora, and all the other female protagonists get swept off by their prince, who happened to magically save the day, traumatically affected my love life. I expected my very own knight and shining armor to make EVERYTHING magical and wonderful. No seriously, I did. And I even had a name for him. But he never came. Duh! That's not real life! And what of Mr. Darcy!? He has forever ruined the hearts of many women who will never find a love story to match that of Pride and Prejudice, mostly because NO ONE is simultaneously as rich and influential AND as wonderful as Mr. Darcy. Just saying.

Now, luckily I happened to wake from my brainwashed stupor in time to open my eyes and find my amazing husband, who is not a prince, but still makes me happy! And, even though life is not all smooth going, we get through it together. THAT'S real life, and that's the love story that is worth living. I hope all of you are or will get to experience it some day :)

One more thing and I'm done with my spiel. I happened to read this talk from Elder Hollstrom in the latest priesthood session last night, and it said EXACTLY what I felt was missing from "Let it Go."

Once any of us conclude—“That’s just the way I am,” we give up our ability to change. We might as well raise the white flag, put down our weapons, concede the battle, and just surrender—any prospect of winning is lost. While some of us may think that does not describe us, perhaps every one of us demonstrates by at least one or two bad habits, “That’s just the way I am.”

Well, who we are is not who we can become. We meet here tonight in the name of Jesus Christ. We meet with the confidence that His Atonement gives every one of us—no matter our weaknesses, our frailties, our addictions—the ability to change. We meet with the hope that our future, no matter our history, can be better.

In other words: Don't give up! You don't have to! Whatever you are facing, you can overcome it with the help of the Lord! I love knowing this! In fact, I doubt I would be able to live without that knowledge. It is an anchor to my soul.

Now about us!

Nate is still SUPER busy with school (apparently the hard part is only slightly less hard this quarter), but he's liking school a lot better which is a relief for us. He's had time for a little relaxation, which he has really needed. 

Nate's brother Nick gets home from his mission on June 4! We're all excited to see him again! Also, we're headed to Mexico (Puerta Vallarta) with his whole family in June! Should be a blast! :) 

I'm still writing my novel. I'm about 1/3-1/2 way done with the first draft. It's tedious but also exciting and addicting and life-sucking haha. I've always had stories that I loved to daydream about, but I met some friends here in Seattle that gave me the insane idea to actually write them down! Hopefully something good comes of it, because it's kinda absorbing me right now! And thanks to my awesome friends who are helping me with it! I love writing group! :)

I also ran a 5K with some friends. I'm mostly just proud of myself for doing it (I loathe running outdoors). 

Our 3 year anniversary was in April! We haven't killed each other yet! Yay for us! :)

Nate hand made this ring for me! A complete surprise! I love it so much because it was entirely his idea (usually I tell him what gifts to get me). He's such a sweetheart! :)

We had a great Easter! We had friends over for dinner and I made a ham that actually tasted pretty scrumptious! Emma snuck and found her Easter basket early. She brought me a bag of M&Ms from dad's basket to eat for breakfast. Silly girl!

I'm obsessed with gardening lately (it's what I think about when I'm not writing my book). Please pray that my plants will grow! I'm so nervous I'm going to botch this whole thing! 

My beets are not beets and my carrots won't germinate!
Apparently my thumb is a color other than green :(

I understand now why it says in the scriptures to pray over your crops!
I've been praying a lot over my poor baby garden! 

My little sister, Kylie, graduates from high school on June 5th, and will be going to UVU next year! And my baby sister Kortney turns 16 this week! Also, my cousin Kaitana is getting baptized this weekend! So many fun things going on at home! I wish I could be there. I love you all and am sooooooo proud of you! 

Emma is constantly giving everyone the stink-eye. I hope it's a phase. She's also picking up new words daily and is really excited about learning. Her favorite things to do are play outside, look out the window when she's stuck inside, play with Tessa, watch Frozen, and sit in a corner and read books to herself. Occasionally she'll let me read to her, too. She also asks me to tickle her, which usually means I make an animal growling noise and chase her around the house til she falls over, at which point I tickle her mercilessly. She's so funny! 

Two of her favs: Tessa and books

These kiddos are really great at holding hands! It's adorable!

We're the most popular house on the block when we pull out the giraffe pool :)

Hugs! :)

Emma reading at the library :)

Emma loves hanging out with the older kids in the neighborhood :)

Zoo!f 

The peacock was showing off for us at the zoo. Unfortunately, I could only get a pic of his back.

Other cute things: She runs to hug and comfort Tessa anytime Tessa cries, even if Emma made her cry. She loves to draw, and she's found where I hide the pens so she likes to sneak them when I'm not looking. She's pretty good about only coloring on paper, though. She's very interested in the potty, and even gets jealous whenever I use it. She'll sit on it and reads the little books I keep on the top of the toilet. She might do this all day if I let her. 

I haven't been watching JT lately, so no news on that.

Isn't this the cutest picture of him? We should be watching him full time again next month.
Wish me luck! :)

The perks of having a toddler! Nate started leaving messages in the shower for me.
This is one I wrote to him :)

I love my adorable family! This picture is at my best friend Brianna's wedding in March :)

Love and miss everyone!

-Kamie