Okay, so we've hit what I think is a milestone: as much time outside of the womb as inside the womb. Yes I'm talking about my crazy, silly, busy Emma :) it's so weird to think that it's been a year an a half since my journey with Emma began!
How to describe this journey? I think the word wild applies quite fittingly, and I'm not just talking about the hormones involved. Anyone who has met Emma knows what a happy, energetic, and active baby she is. It only takes a minute in the same room with her to discover this. I always joke that she is my "crazy baby" because she never stops moving!
 |
| Emma standing up while eating the wood chips at the park :) |
Did I have any idea life with Emma would be like this? Not really. When Emma was first born, she was very easy going and content. She was sweet and practically angelic, and then she learned to lift her head up. After that she wanted to be held every second so she could see the world! And then she learned to crawl. After that she became a tiny ball of destruction, pulling down everything in reach and ripping any piece of paper to shreds, and at the same time smiling so adorably that you find yourself ready to hand over more paper just to see it again! Now, at 9 1/2 months old, she's on the verge of walking (most steps taken so far is about 10 in a row). I am excited and terrified to discover what comes next for Emma and I :)
 |
| Paper shredding :) |
 |
| Emma found a Reese's! She looked so cute eating it that I couldn't take it away! |
As for my end of things, I have fit in more sizes of clothing in the last 18 months than probably the 5 years prior to that. I have been everywhere from starving to death to being nauseated at the smell of food. Hormones! I have gone from sleeping almost 12 hours a day at the end of my pregnancy to being lucky to get 3 hours in a row. I have been selfish (Nate please get me some cereal! I'm so hungry I can't get out of bed! I think I'm dying!) and selfless (answering to endless cries for mommy's milk at all hours of the night). In short, I have been totally and completely changed.
 |
| Brushing her two teeth! A dentist's daughter! :) |
I've been humbled as I've realized that even with my many hours of research and more hours of prayer, I am not a perfect mom. I have yet to figure out how to help Emma sleep through the night (though I think we're making progress), she is always covered in food despite my best efforts to keep her clean, and occasionally when she throws a tantrum (she's been swatting the spoon and refusing to eat her baby food), I get cranky at her. But I've decided to let go of the little things and concentrate on the big picture of the kind of mom I want to be. My number one goal as a mom is to make sure my kids have no doubt in their minds that they are loved and that they are children of God. Everything else will flow from this.
 |
| Emma terrorizing her room. This happens every day! |
Emma and I have been sooooo blessed to have an awesome guy by our side through this journey. Nate has been an incredible and fun dad, not to mention a caring husband. We've had to learn through this whole journey how to love each other even as we change, which is not always easy. For him this means packing him a lunch for school every day and giving him time to unwind after a crazy day at school. For me this means getting me breakfast when I am pregnant and starving, or helping with Emma in the mornings so I can catch a few more z's after a night of disrupted sleep. As we've both tried to be more selfless for each other, we've found more happiness than ever before.
 |
| Balloon Festival in Walla Walla |
Now, I'm going to get some things off my chest and then laugh at how silly I am to complain when I am clearly so blessed! The things that have been driving me nuts lately:
1) Food, food, and food! Everyday, 4 times a day, I've got to find some way to get some amount of nutrients down my little wiggle worm's throat. Not an easy task! I've tried everything! I've tried giving her her own spoon so she can "help", giving her toys to play with in her high chair as a distraction as I stuff food into her mouth, chasing her around the house with a jar of baby food and "sneak" feeding her as she plays, and, of course, finger foods. They all amount to a big mess and a stressed out mom and baby. I think Emma simply likes to play much more than she likes to eat, and for me, being the nutritionist, this is not acceptable! Haha she must have a healthy diet! She eats about half of what she should be eating at this age. Grrrr! Not to mention, she loves to decorate the walls and the floor with every color of pureed baby food! The kitchen got so bad that I literally could not go in there without getting nauseous (yes, I have a phobia of rotting food!). Luckily for me Nate had the heart to clean it up for me. Wow! I feel pathetic that such a small thing is bugging me so much! Any tips for overcoming this phobia? I have a feeling that I'm going to have to if I want to mentally survive motherhood.
 |
| This photo pretty much sums it up... |
2) Sleep.....where to start? I should be grateful that Emma is generally waking up only once or twice during the 12 hours that she sleeps during the night. Yet, somehow, I feel sooooo exhausted. Is this normal? I need at least 10 hours a night in order to function (I think I've slept an average of 6 hours a night for most of my life). I know that in the future, when there are more children in the picture, I will not have the luxury of sleeping in. Other than the guilt of feeling like I'm a lazy bum, I really don't mind our sleep schedule so much. Emma is actually getting enough hours of sleep in the day (about 14 hrs). Yay! And things have gotten much better now that her two bottom teeth have finally made an appearance and have stopped hurting her.
 |
| Sleeping soundly after kicking off all the blankets :) |
3) I think this one may be coming to an end, but Emma went through a mama's phase, which was frustrating/amazing for me. She actually wanted to cuddle with me! But she wanted to all the time....I couldn't get anything done or relax...But I loved to cuddle her! :)
 |
| I only want mommy! |
4) I've mentioned her thirst for excitement already, which is a really fun thing most of the time (especially since she is great at entertaining herself and also giggles adorably at random things), but is frustrating when I am trying to nurse her in public, or even in my own house. I have to take her into a completely silent room and make sure Nate and everyone else knows not to disturb us, or else she gets distracted and won't eat. Haha what a weird problem to have. My crazy baby!
 |
| Feeding herself a banana :) |
Okay, enough complaining! Yes, I am a total basket case these days, but I am also one of the most blessed people in the world! I have the true gospel of Jesus Christ! I have an amazing family, awesome in-laws, and the best husband I could ever ask for! I have been blessed with a beautiful (inside and out) daughter! I am generally pretty healthy (although sleepy), and I was able to get an education at the best university ever! I live in a country where I am free to choose how to live my life. I have food to eat and a roof over my head, and I don't have to hand wash my laundry. This is just the start of a very long list. I think you get the gist.
So, with just two months til we will be packing our bags and heading out of Spokane, I'm trying hard not to completely lose it. It's weird, but somehow Spokane has become our home. Maybe because most of my memories of Emma are here, including the hospital where she was born. Anyways, I'm excited to experience the college campus life again when we go to Seattle, but I'll definitely miss Spokane. In the mean time, Nate has a couple more weeks of school and then an internship for about a month here in Spokane. Then we'll travel around for a few weeks till we have to be in Seattle in September. Then Nate will take his board exam! And Emma will turn one in August! So much to look forward to! :)
-Kamie
