The Truth

Lately I've been kind of annoyed at how vocal the totally wrong majority can be (stay tuned till the end for the update on us). Frankly, if you go out on the street and ask a random person a serious question about life, almost always their answer is going to be totally opposite of what the Lord would say. For example, ask the average guy what the most important thing they can accomplish in this life is, and they'll probably say something about earning a lot of money or getting a great education. Ask the average female what her goals are in life, and you'll likely find that career and social status, not to mention keeping her perfect, bikini ready body, rank well above any thought of motherhood.

Now, just to be clear, I'm not saying earning money, getting a great education, or having a great career and social life are bad things. In fact, I want all of those things for my family. What I am saying is that these things clearly are not more important than family or spirituality. How do I know this? Because I've seen first hand the blessings that come from putting God and family first.

So, you probably know that my current role in life is that of the stay at home wife and mom, or "homemaker" if you will. Ask the average female college student to rank my intelligence, and she'd probably say I'm not very smart if I had to settle for motherhood instead of a career. Wrong! Ask the average graduate student about the quality of my life, and they might say that changing dirty diapers, never getting a full night's rest, not being able to go out and party whenever I want (not that I would anyways), and being stuck at home all day without a social life probably render my lifestyle somewhere on the totem pole between lame and unbearable. Wrong again!

Emma with a cucumber in her mouth

Alright, so I know not everyone thinks this way. There are lots of great people who realize family is important and want to have one, but they want to get a few years of fun and personal growth, not to mention financial stability, under their belt first. I used to think this way too, before God took the reigns in my life. I know that everyone's road in life is different, and there's no way I could possibly know what is best for others, so I'm not going to pretend to. I am going to debunk some of the falsehoods mentioned above, though.

First, motherhood is one of the most intellectually demanding roles you can have. What? Did I say that right? Okay, so it's nothing like reading Shakespeare or solving an intense chemistry problem. But seriously, babies are like one tiny, constantly changing puzzle. Just when you've figured out how to handle one situation, they change and you have to adapt all over again. It's challenging and never boring. My mind is constantly working trying to figure out what Emma needs, or how to plan around her schedule to get the shopping done or dinner made. Not to mention the constant mental exercise needed for meal planning and budgeting, making sure that cheap, healthy meals are made and that no ingredient in the fridge goes to waste. It's perfect work for my over analytical mind :) So, being a mom doesn't mean you're stupid. In fact, it's one of the smartest decisions I've ever made.

Second, there is no night's sleep, no night out on the town, and no social gathering that I would rather have than a day with Emma. Sure, there are days when I need a little break from full time motherhood, but I miss her every second I am away from her with a fierceness that is impossible to describe to anyone who has never been a parent. Sure, I definitely need social interaction, especially chatting with other women, but this is nothing that a few play dates a week won't take care of. Yeah, I guess I don't leave the house as often as some other people, but I run a tight ship and our home functions amazingly well, if I do say so myself, and I'm proud of that. Marriage does take more work once there are children in the picture, but this adds more depth and meaning to the relationship than ever before. Overall, I would rank my life just above awesome :)

Okay, so there may have been a moment amidst all my self-sacrificing that I thought maybe, just maybe, I was the only one in the family not benefiting from all of my hard work. But then I sat down and looked back at the past 8 months of my life. What did I find? Just that I had grown more personally in that time than at any other previous time in my life, that's all. I am MUCH more mature (being a mom tends to put you in a more adult-like mindset), much more patient (though I still need some work), much more emotionally stable, and much better at handling difficult circumstances and coming up with a reasonable solution. Sure, people are absolutely right when they say that parenthood is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life (and I'm only at the beginning!), but what they neglect to mention is that it is also the surest way to insure your own personal growth and happiness (when coupled with a happy marriage, of coarse)! I am so grateful to belong to a church that teaches the importance of the family, or else I might never have known this great secret! On that note, I've also grown leaps and bounds spiritually since becoming a mom. This has been partially because I've needed the Lord's help a lot during this time, and also because having a person in your home who is so fresh from heaven brings the Spirit there. I love it! Every time I look at Emma, I have absolutely no doubt that there is a God.

Now, for the financial side of things...I can't say that having a baby will bring you immediate financial blessings (although I may argue that in the long run the Lord may bless you with greater financial miracles than He would otherwise). However, I would gladly trade any income that I could be making today for Emma. Nate and I are, well, poor. We don't have a lot, though thanks to a sickening amount of student loans, we haven't had to go without anything essential. We have food to eat, though it isn't steak and lobster. We have a roof over our heads, though I know some people who would consider our apartment a dumb. We have clothes on our backs, though buying new clothes is seldom ever in the budget. Thanks to generous and supportive family members, we have a crib and a high chair for Emma, and even a few adorable outfits to dress her up in! Some people would flat out say that they could never survive a lifestyle like ours (no cable, no washer and dryer, no iPads or Xboxes, etc! Not possible!). However, I can honestly say that I do not feel that we are missing out on anything. Sure, it would be nice to have more money, if only so that we could be more generous. But I don't feel that we deserve nor need more than what we have. I do not suffer from a false sense of entitlement. I feel extremely blessed and do not feel that any more money would bring any more happiness.

Okay, were there any more myths I was going to debunk? Oh yeah, the fun thing. Hurry up and travel the world and do all the fun things there are to do before you have kids, cause afterwards you'll never be able to! Kids suck the fun out of everything! Um.....LIES!!!!!!!!! And even if it were true, isn't that really selfish!? A wonderful child of God has been waiting for centuries to come to earth to a righteous family, but we are going to make them wait even longer because we have to see Europe first!? Seriously!? Can you tell I'm a little passionate about this? It's been my DREAM since forever to go to Europe, so I am in no way ignorant of how it feels to want to do something really badly. But come on! If I only live 40 years on this earth, I want to know that in those years I did something really meaningful, like have a family! I can see Europe when I'm dead, or, hopefully, when I'm older and I've already done the most important things to do in this life. Oh, and kids do not suck the fun out of everything! Kids put the fun into everything! Emma is so full of life! She teaches me everyday how to live it more fully and enjoy it more. If I go on a road trip, I want to bring my kids with me so that I can see the look on their faces when they play on the beach for the first time! Sure, there will be times when Nate and I will want to go away for some alone time, but as much as possible, I want to give my children every opportunity to savor every moment of this life. And I'll get to watch on the sidelines and experience that abundance of joy with them (and the chaos, too).

Emma chasing Sylvia's cat :)

Emma climbing the wall :)

Sorry if I bored you to death! I just couldn't let my defense of the most wonderful thing in the world (the family) go unsaid. Now, here's an update on how our lives are going. We had a fun trip to Utah over spring break. We got see lots of family and say goodbye to Nate's grandpa before he passed away. The funeral was peaceful and filled with love. We miss Grandpa Bushman a lot but we're glad he is back with his wife.

Grandpa Bushman said of Emma, "Keep her!"

Emma and Grandma Olsen

Nate is in his third quarter in dental school, and I think so far this might be his least favorite, mostly due to boring classes and power hungry professors. He is working on getting his window washing business up and running again for the spring (pray for some success for us please!). He loves being a dad, though Emma is going through a mama's girl stage and always prefers to be held by me. So, needless to say his favorite thing is getting to hold her when she is asleep :)

Emma watching Nate BBQ chicken :)

Emma is cuter than ever and advancing at rapid speed. Everyone is starting to make guesses about when she will start walking (I think by 10 months for sure). She is fast, sneaky, and always getting into trouble. She is definitely a lot of fun to have around. I love crawling around on the floor chasing her, to which she responds by crawling away as fast as she can and giggling. Tickle fights are also a lot of fun (I love listening to her laugh). She loves food (much like I did as a baby), but has the metabolism of her father, which is way too fast! I've started letting her feed herself a little by giving her little pieces of fruit or vegetables, and she's able to get the food into her mouth about half of the time now :) Sleep training finally was a success, and she goes down without a peep at 7 o'clock, with two naps during the day. This has been awesome for me! She still doesn't sleep through the night (waking up to eat twice), and the last couple of nights she has slept very fitfully, keeping both Nate and I up. Hopefully this will not last! I'm still looking for an answer on how to get her to sleep through the night...She, however, is as happy as can be with her sleep schedule and has boundless energy during the day. Every time we go to the grocery store, people stop and ask me about Emma, and then they almost always ask, "Is she always so happy?" The answer is yes! She's a truly happy baby and brings joy to everyone she meets :)

As for me, I'm doing well, other than the mild sleep deprivation (I'm surprised I escaped it for so long!). My days keep flying by and I keep hoping that I've done something productive and meaningful with each one. I've really enjoyed making new friends here in Spokane. We've had many fun game nights and dinner parties.     Oh, and this Sunday I prepared the wrong lesson for primary and had to totally wing the lesson! It was mortifying! Hopefully the kids learned something though...other than that bad experience I've loved teaching primary. Life is good here :) The one dark spot is the knowledge that we are moving to Seattle at the end of the summer. I've really grown to like it here and am dreading packing everything up again and leaving. Wish us luck!

-Kamie