9 Months and Counting

Okay, so we've hit what I think is a milestone: as much time outside of the womb as inside the womb. Yes I'm talking about my crazy, silly, busy Emma :) it's so weird to think that it's been a year an a half since my journey with Emma began!

How to describe this journey? I think the word wild applies quite fittingly, and I'm not just talking about the hormones involved. Anyone who has met Emma knows what a happy, energetic, and active baby she is. It only takes a minute in the same room with her to discover this. I always joke that she is my "crazy baby" because she never stops moving!

Emma standing up while eating the wood chips at the park :)

Did I have any idea life with Emma would be like this? Not really. When Emma was first born, she was very easy going and content. She was sweet and practically angelic, and then she learned to lift her head up. After that she wanted to be held every second so she could see the world! And then she learned to crawl. After that she became a tiny ball of destruction, pulling down everything in reach and ripping any piece of paper to shreds, and at the same time smiling so adorably that you find yourself ready to hand over more paper just to see it again! Now, at 9 1/2 months old, she's on the verge of walking (most steps taken so far is about 10 in a row). I am excited and terrified to discover what comes next for Emma and I :)

Paper shredding :)

Emma found a Reese's! She looked so cute eating it that I couldn't take it away!

As for my end of things, I have fit in more sizes of clothing in the last 18 months than probably the 5 years prior to that. I have been everywhere from starving to death to being nauseated at the smell of food. Hormones! I have gone from sleeping almost 12 hours a day at the end of my pregnancy to being lucky to get 3 hours in a row. I have been selfish (Nate please get me some cereal! I'm so hungry I can't get out of bed! I think I'm dying!) and selfless (answering to endless cries for mommy's milk at all hours of the night). In short, I have been totally and completely changed.

Brushing her two teeth! A dentist's daughter! :)

I've been humbled as I've realized that even with my many hours of research and more hours of prayer, I am not a perfect mom. I have yet to figure out how to help Emma sleep through the night (though I think we're making progress), she is always covered in food despite my best efforts to keep her clean, and occasionally when she throws a tantrum (she's been swatting the spoon and refusing to eat her baby food), I get cranky at her. But I've decided to let go of the little things and concentrate on the big picture of the kind of mom I want to be. My number one goal as a mom is to make sure my kids have no doubt in their minds that they are loved and that they are children of God. Everything else will flow from this.

Emma terrorizing her room. This happens every day!

Emma and I have been sooooo blessed to have an awesome guy by our side through this journey. Nate has been an incredible and fun dad, not to mention a caring husband. We've had to learn through this whole journey how to love each other even as we change, which is not always easy. For him this means packing him a lunch for school every day and giving him time to unwind after a crazy day at school. For me this means getting me breakfast when I am pregnant and starving, or helping with Emma in the mornings so I can catch a few more z's after a night of disrupted sleep. As we've both tried to be more selfless for each other, we've found more happiness than ever before.

Balloon Festival in Walla Walla 

Now, I'm going to get some things off my chest and then laugh at how silly I am to complain when I am clearly so blessed! The things that have been driving me nuts lately:
1) Food, food, and food! Everyday, 4 times a day, I've got to find some way to get some amount of nutrients down my little wiggle worm's throat. Not an easy task! I've tried everything! I've tried giving her her own spoon so she can "help", giving her toys to play with in her high chair as a distraction as I stuff food into her mouth, chasing her around the house with a jar of baby food and "sneak" feeding her as she plays, and, of course, finger foods. They all amount to a big mess and a stressed out mom and baby. I think Emma simply likes to play much more than she likes to eat, and for me, being the nutritionist, this is not acceptable! Haha she must have a healthy diet! She eats about half of what she should be eating at this age. Grrrr! Not to mention, she loves to decorate the walls and the floor with every color of pureed baby food! The kitchen got so bad that I literally could not go in there without getting nauseous (yes, I have a phobia of rotting food!). Luckily for me Nate had the heart to clean it up for me. Wow! I feel pathetic that such a small thing is bugging me so much! Any tips for overcoming this phobia? I have a feeling that I'm going to have to if I want to mentally survive motherhood.

This photo pretty much sums it up...

2) Sleep.....where to start? I should be grateful that Emma is generally waking up only once or twice during the 12 hours that she sleeps during the night. Yet, somehow, I feel sooooo exhausted. Is this normal? I need at least 10 hours a night in order to function (I think I've slept an average of 6 hours a night for most of my life). I know that in the future, when there are more children in the picture, I will not have the luxury of sleeping in. Other than the guilt of feeling like I'm a lazy bum, I really don't mind our sleep schedule so much. Emma is actually getting enough hours of sleep in the day (about 14 hrs). Yay! And things have gotten much better now that her two bottom teeth have finally made an appearance and have stopped hurting her.

Sleeping soundly after kicking off all the blankets :)

3) I think this one may be coming to an end, but Emma went through a mama's phase, which was frustrating/amazing for me. She actually wanted to cuddle with me! But she wanted to all the time....I couldn't get anything done or relax...But I loved to cuddle her! :)

I only want mommy!

4) I've mentioned her thirst for excitement already, which is a really fun thing most of the time (especially since she is great at entertaining herself and also giggles adorably at random things), but is frustrating when I am trying to nurse her in public, or even in my own house. I have to take her into a completely silent room and make sure Nate and everyone else knows not to disturb us, or else she gets distracted and won't eat. Haha what a weird problem to have. My crazy baby!

Feeding herself a banana :)

Okay, enough complaining! Yes, I am a total basket case these days, but I am also one of the most blessed people in the world! I have the true gospel of Jesus Christ! I have an amazing family, awesome in-laws, and the best husband I could ever ask for! I have been blessed with a beautiful (inside and out) daughter! I am generally pretty healthy (although sleepy), and I was able to get an education at the best university ever! I live in a country where I am free to choose how to live my life. I have food to eat and a roof over my head, and I don't have to hand wash my laundry. This is just the start of a very long list. I think you get the gist.

So, with just two months til we will be packing our bags and heading out of Spokane, I'm trying hard not to completely lose it. It's weird, but somehow Spokane has become our home. Maybe because most of my memories of Emma are here, including the hospital where she was born. Anyways, I'm excited to experience the college campus life again when we go to Seattle, but I'll definitely miss Spokane. In the mean time, Nate has a couple more weeks of school and then an internship for about a month here in Spokane. Then we'll travel around for a few weeks till we have to be in Seattle in September. Then Nate will take his board exam! And Emma will turn one in August! So much to look forward to! :)

-Kamie

The Truth

Lately I've been kind of annoyed at how vocal the totally wrong majority can be (stay tuned till the end for the update on us). Frankly, if you go out on the street and ask a random person a serious question about life, almost always their answer is going to be totally opposite of what the Lord would say. For example, ask the average guy what the most important thing they can accomplish in this life is, and they'll probably say something about earning a lot of money or getting a great education. Ask the average female what her goals are in life, and you'll likely find that career and social status, not to mention keeping her perfect, bikini ready body, rank well above any thought of motherhood.

Now, just to be clear, I'm not saying earning money, getting a great education, or having a great career and social life are bad things. In fact, I want all of those things for my family. What I am saying is that these things clearly are not more important than family or spirituality. How do I know this? Because I've seen first hand the blessings that come from putting God and family first.

So, you probably know that my current role in life is that of the stay at home wife and mom, or "homemaker" if you will. Ask the average female college student to rank my intelligence, and she'd probably say I'm not very smart if I had to settle for motherhood instead of a career. Wrong! Ask the average graduate student about the quality of my life, and they might say that changing dirty diapers, never getting a full night's rest, not being able to go out and party whenever I want (not that I would anyways), and being stuck at home all day without a social life probably render my lifestyle somewhere on the totem pole between lame and unbearable. Wrong again!

Emma with a cucumber in her mouth

Alright, so I know not everyone thinks this way. There are lots of great people who realize family is important and want to have one, but they want to get a few years of fun and personal growth, not to mention financial stability, under their belt first. I used to think this way too, before God took the reigns in my life. I know that everyone's road in life is different, and there's no way I could possibly know what is best for others, so I'm not going to pretend to. I am going to debunk some of the falsehoods mentioned above, though.

First, motherhood is one of the most intellectually demanding roles you can have. What? Did I say that right? Okay, so it's nothing like reading Shakespeare or solving an intense chemistry problem. But seriously, babies are like one tiny, constantly changing puzzle. Just when you've figured out how to handle one situation, they change and you have to adapt all over again. It's challenging and never boring. My mind is constantly working trying to figure out what Emma needs, or how to plan around her schedule to get the shopping done or dinner made. Not to mention the constant mental exercise needed for meal planning and budgeting, making sure that cheap, healthy meals are made and that no ingredient in the fridge goes to waste. It's perfect work for my over analytical mind :) So, being a mom doesn't mean you're stupid. In fact, it's one of the smartest decisions I've ever made.

Second, there is no night's sleep, no night out on the town, and no social gathering that I would rather have than a day with Emma. Sure, there are days when I need a little break from full time motherhood, but I miss her every second I am away from her with a fierceness that is impossible to describe to anyone who has never been a parent. Sure, I definitely need social interaction, especially chatting with other women, but this is nothing that a few play dates a week won't take care of. Yeah, I guess I don't leave the house as often as some other people, but I run a tight ship and our home functions amazingly well, if I do say so myself, and I'm proud of that. Marriage does take more work once there are children in the picture, but this adds more depth and meaning to the relationship than ever before. Overall, I would rank my life just above awesome :)

Okay, so there may have been a moment amidst all my self-sacrificing that I thought maybe, just maybe, I was the only one in the family not benefiting from all of my hard work. But then I sat down and looked back at the past 8 months of my life. What did I find? Just that I had grown more personally in that time than at any other previous time in my life, that's all. I am MUCH more mature (being a mom tends to put you in a more adult-like mindset), much more patient (though I still need some work), much more emotionally stable, and much better at handling difficult circumstances and coming up with a reasonable solution. Sure, people are absolutely right when they say that parenthood is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life (and I'm only at the beginning!), but what they neglect to mention is that it is also the surest way to insure your own personal growth and happiness (when coupled with a happy marriage, of coarse)! I am so grateful to belong to a church that teaches the importance of the family, or else I might never have known this great secret! On that note, I've also grown leaps and bounds spiritually since becoming a mom. This has been partially because I've needed the Lord's help a lot during this time, and also because having a person in your home who is so fresh from heaven brings the Spirit there. I love it! Every time I look at Emma, I have absolutely no doubt that there is a God.

Now, for the financial side of things...I can't say that having a baby will bring you immediate financial blessings (although I may argue that in the long run the Lord may bless you with greater financial miracles than He would otherwise). However, I would gladly trade any income that I could be making today for Emma. Nate and I are, well, poor. We don't have a lot, though thanks to a sickening amount of student loans, we haven't had to go without anything essential. We have food to eat, though it isn't steak and lobster. We have a roof over our heads, though I know some people who would consider our apartment a dumb. We have clothes on our backs, though buying new clothes is seldom ever in the budget. Thanks to generous and supportive family members, we have a crib and a high chair for Emma, and even a few adorable outfits to dress her up in! Some people would flat out say that they could never survive a lifestyle like ours (no cable, no washer and dryer, no iPads or Xboxes, etc! Not possible!). However, I can honestly say that I do not feel that we are missing out on anything. Sure, it would be nice to have more money, if only so that we could be more generous. But I don't feel that we deserve nor need more than what we have. I do not suffer from a false sense of entitlement. I feel extremely blessed and do not feel that any more money would bring any more happiness.

Okay, were there any more myths I was going to debunk? Oh yeah, the fun thing. Hurry up and travel the world and do all the fun things there are to do before you have kids, cause afterwards you'll never be able to! Kids suck the fun out of everything! Um.....LIES!!!!!!!!! And even if it were true, isn't that really selfish!? A wonderful child of God has been waiting for centuries to come to earth to a righteous family, but we are going to make them wait even longer because we have to see Europe first!? Seriously!? Can you tell I'm a little passionate about this? It's been my DREAM since forever to go to Europe, so I am in no way ignorant of how it feels to want to do something really badly. But come on! If I only live 40 years on this earth, I want to know that in those years I did something really meaningful, like have a family! I can see Europe when I'm dead, or, hopefully, when I'm older and I've already done the most important things to do in this life. Oh, and kids do not suck the fun out of everything! Kids put the fun into everything! Emma is so full of life! She teaches me everyday how to live it more fully and enjoy it more. If I go on a road trip, I want to bring my kids with me so that I can see the look on their faces when they play on the beach for the first time! Sure, there will be times when Nate and I will want to go away for some alone time, but as much as possible, I want to give my children every opportunity to savor every moment of this life. And I'll get to watch on the sidelines and experience that abundance of joy with them (and the chaos, too).

Emma chasing Sylvia's cat :)

Emma climbing the wall :)

Sorry if I bored you to death! I just couldn't let my defense of the most wonderful thing in the world (the family) go unsaid. Now, here's an update on how our lives are going. We had a fun trip to Utah over spring break. We got see lots of family and say goodbye to Nate's grandpa before he passed away. The funeral was peaceful and filled with love. We miss Grandpa Bushman a lot but we're glad he is back with his wife.

Grandpa Bushman said of Emma, "Keep her!"

Emma and Grandma Olsen

Nate is in his third quarter in dental school, and I think so far this might be his least favorite, mostly due to boring classes and power hungry professors. He is working on getting his window washing business up and running again for the spring (pray for some success for us please!). He loves being a dad, though Emma is going through a mama's girl stage and always prefers to be held by me. So, needless to say his favorite thing is getting to hold her when she is asleep :)

Emma watching Nate BBQ chicken :)

Emma is cuter than ever and advancing at rapid speed. Everyone is starting to make guesses about when she will start walking (I think by 10 months for sure). She is fast, sneaky, and always getting into trouble. She is definitely a lot of fun to have around. I love crawling around on the floor chasing her, to which she responds by crawling away as fast as she can and giggling. Tickle fights are also a lot of fun (I love listening to her laugh). She loves food (much like I did as a baby), but has the metabolism of her father, which is way too fast! I've started letting her feed herself a little by giving her little pieces of fruit or vegetables, and she's able to get the food into her mouth about half of the time now :) Sleep training finally was a success, and she goes down without a peep at 7 o'clock, with two naps during the day. This has been awesome for me! She still doesn't sleep through the night (waking up to eat twice), and the last couple of nights she has slept very fitfully, keeping both Nate and I up. Hopefully this will not last! I'm still looking for an answer on how to get her to sleep through the night...She, however, is as happy as can be with her sleep schedule and has boundless energy during the day. Every time we go to the grocery store, people stop and ask me about Emma, and then they almost always ask, "Is she always so happy?" The answer is yes! She's a truly happy baby and brings joy to everyone she meets :)

As for me, I'm doing well, other than the mild sleep deprivation (I'm surprised I escaped it for so long!). My days keep flying by and I keep hoping that I've done something productive and meaningful with each one. I've really enjoyed making new friends here in Spokane. We've had many fun game nights and dinner parties.     Oh, and this Sunday I prepared the wrong lesson for primary and had to totally wing the lesson! It was mortifying! Hopefully the kids learned something though...other than that bad experience I've loved teaching primary. Life is good here :) The one dark spot is the knowledge that we are moving to Seattle at the end of the summer. I've really grown to like it here and am dreading packing everything up again and leaving. Wish us luck!

-Kamie

Baby Mania

My best friend Brianna, Emma and I :)

Well, our world got turned upside down about a month ago. Why? Emma started crawling at only 5 1/2 months old! It's been a constant whirlwind of chasing her down and separating her from whatever dangerous object she's found since. And boy it's been fun! Among the list of dangerous things she can't seem to resist are the power strip, the printer, any cord, the trash, the toilet, the recycle bin, the dishwasher, the bookshelves, dvds, the entertainment center, chairs, plastic bags, paper, and my personal favorite, the shelves on the changing table. I've just about given up on keeping the living room clean since she tears it apart everyday, and, don't tell anyone, but I don't think there's a square inch of carpet in there that she hasn't managed to spit up on. Good thing were moving this summer!

Me teaching Emma to crawl :)

Emma climbs everything she can get a grip on!

Emma watching my workout video :)

Playing with the DVDs...everyday!!

Nate caught Emma eating a pear that she found in the trash!

More climbing :)

Emma ate the Ensigns!!!!

Practicing her yoga :)

As for keeping her from hurting herself, I mostly just keep anything sharp up high and I've blocked off all the cords under the computer desk. Then I let her roam to her heart's content. It seems to be working well so far. Except when she pulls herself to standing on a chair or couch and then proceeds to let go, allowing herself to fall limply in any direction. Most of the time she's unharmed, but when she does cry I encourage her to get back up and say, "You're okay." After which she is once again chipper as can be. She's also wised up a bit and is learning to land on her bum instead of her head.

Emma helping Nate unload the dishwasher :)

 

Emma watching Nate BBQ on the deck :)

I think I am relieved that she seems to be able to entertain herself all day. The only time she demands my presence is when she wants to fall asleep (sleep training is still an ongoing process for us, but after months of struggling to get Emma to fall asleep at a reasonable hour, I finally gave in and tried the cry-it-out method. She fell asleep after an hour of crying and slept through the night! So this time I have hope that it will work, and I won't give up! One day she will fall asleep with no crying at all!) or when she is hungry. Speaking of hungry, she loves baby food! She's mastered the art of eating from a spoon, although it's debatable whether more food gets in her mouth or on her face. She eats anything I feed her, but I think her favorite food is bananas. One of the cutest things I've ever seen was Emma's face the first time she had to strain to poop. So adorable!

You can see how well coaxing her to sleep was working...

This is her putting up a fight lol :) After this we took down the bassinet for fear she might climb right out!

Well eventually she falls asleep...

She also likes eating my hair now...weird! Lol :)

Emma's messy face after dinner one night :)

Emma eating :)

We had a great Valentine's this year. If you want to know what I begged for from Nate, you'll have to ask him. Oh nevermind I'll tell you! A love note and some hand weights (I always go for the practical gift since we don't have a ton of money). He threw in some sour gummy worms and hydrangeas :) I got him See's chocolate of course and a poem. But the real present for ourselves was a date night out without the nina. We had a blast! A couple of hours alone after 6 months of constant baby company can do wonders! :)

Emma and I made a trip down to Utah in February. I think Emma had a blast. She certainly is fond of my parents and siblings, especially my dad, but it seems to me that she likes just about anyone. She's a genuinely friendly and happy baby. An angel if you ask me ;) She learned to wave "Bye-bye" while we were there because grandma and grandpa would always come to say goodnight and eventually she started waving at them!

On the train to Provo :)

Breakfast with my friends Allie, Megan, Susan and Aubrey :)

Emma gets spoiled at grandma and grandpa's house :)

Aunt Kylie feeding Emma gummy worms :)

While in Utah I got to see Brianna, my best friend who I hadn't seen for 18 months while she was in Alabama on a mission. It was so fun to see her again! I also got to visit with some friends from college and Emma's aunt Shanie and uncle Kyle. We had a blast, but we were just as excited to get back home to Nate. Emma squealed and giggled in delight for a whole minute when she saw Nate again. I don't think I've seen anything cuter (have I said that before? Well everything she does is cute).

 

Emma crawling and waving :)

It was kind of a miracle that we got to go to Utah. I was looking at flights and the prices got more and more ridiculous every day! Just as I was having a very mature adult fit (I may be exaggerating a bit about the mature part), someone sweeped in to save the day. My cousin, Ginny, who I hadn't seen in something like 15 years, told me she would be travelling from her home in Northern Idaho to Utah around the same time I needed to get there, and she could take me! Ginny you are awesome! :) Anyways, my prayers were definitely answered and now I feel silly that I ever threw a fit in the first place. Turns out the Lord really did care about my wish to go, and he had a way of working things out that I never would've guessed! :)

As for how we're doing, Nate's classes are starting to pick up. We've both been sick on and off for what seems like all winter, but the couple of days of sunshine we've had this week are giving me hope that spring is just around the corner! I'm starting to feel like I might actually be getting through to my primary class, and I'm finally back to pre-pregnancy weight. So no serious complaints here :) As for Emma, she's as content as can be :) In fact, we watched the whole BBC version of Pride and Prejudice and I'm not sure who enjoyed it more, Emma or me :)

-Kamie