The Truth

Lately I've been kind of annoyed at how vocal the totally wrong majority can be (stay tuned till the end for the update on us). Frankly, if you go out on the street and ask a random person a serious question about life, almost always their answer is going to be totally opposite of what the Lord would say. For example, ask the average guy what the most important thing they can accomplish in this life is, and they'll probably say something about earning a lot of money or getting a great education. Ask the average female what her goals are in life, and you'll likely find that career and social status, not to mention keeping her perfect, bikini ready body, rank well above any thought of motherhood.

Now, just to be clear, I'm not saying earning money, getting a great education, or having a great career and social life are bad things. In fact, I want all of those things for my family. What I am saying is that these things clearly are not more important than family or spirituality. How do I know this? Because I've seen first hand the blessings that come from putting God and family first.

So, you probably know that my current role in life is that of the stay at home wife and mom, or "homemaker" if you will. Ask the average female college student to rank my intelligence, and she'd probably say I'm not very smart if I had to settle for motherhood instead of a career. Wrong! Ask the average graduate student about the quality of my life, and they might say that changing dirty diapers, never getting a full night's rest, not being able to go out and party whenever I want (not that I would anyways), and being stuck at home all day without a social life probably render my lifestyle somewhere on the totem pole between lame and unbearable. Wrong again!

Emma with a cucumber in her mouth

Alright, so I know not everyone thinks this way. There are lots of great people who realize family is important and want to have one, but they want to get a few years of fun and personal growth, not to mention financial stability, under their belt first. I used to think this way too, before God took the reigns in my life. I know that everyone's road in life is different, and there's no way I could possibly know what is best for others, so I'm not going to pretend to. I am going to debunk some of the falsehoods mentioned above, though.

First, motherhood is one of the most intellectually demanding roles you can have. What? Did I say that right? Okay, so it's nothing like reading Shakespeare or solving an intense chemistry problem. But seriously, babies are like one tiny, constantly changing puzzle. Just when you've figured out how to handle one situation, they change and you have to adapt all over again. It's challenging and never boring. My mind is constantly working trying to figure out what Emma needs, or how to plan around her schedule to get the shopping done or dinner made. Not to mention the constant mental exercise needed for meal planning and budgeting, making sure that cheap, healthy meals are made and that no ingredient in the fridge goes to waste. It's perfect work for my over analytical mind :) So, being a mom doesn't mean you're stupid. In fact, it's one of the smartest decisions I've ever made.

Second, there is no night's sleep, no night out on the town, and no social gathering that I would rather have than a day with Emma. Sure, there are days when I need a little break from full time motherhood, but I miss her every second I am away from her with a fierceness that is impossible to describe to anyone who has never been a parent. Sure, I definitely need social interaction, especially chatting with other women, but this is nothing that a few play dates a week won't take care of. Yeah, I guess I don't leave the house as often as some other people, but I run a tight ship and our home functions amazingly well, if I do say so myself, and I'm proud of that. Marriage does take more work once there are children in the picture, but this adds more depth and meaning to the relationship than ever before. Overall, I would rank my life just above awesome :)

Okay, so there may have been a moment amidst all my self-sacrificing that I thought maybe, just maybe, I was the only one in the family not benefiting from all of my hard work. But then I sat down and looked back at the past 8 months of my life. What did I find? Just that I had grown more personally in that time than at any other previous time in my life, that's all. I am MUCH more mature (being a mom tends to put you in a more adult-like mindset), much more patient (though I still need some work), much more emotionally stable, and much better at handling difficult circumstances and coming up with a reasonable solution. Sure, people are absolutely right when they say that parenthood is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life (and I'm only at the beginning!), but what they neglect to mention is that it is also the surest way to insure your own personal growth and happiness (when coupled with a happy marriage, of coarse)! I am so grateful to belong to a church that teaches the importance of the family, or else I might never have known this great secret! On that note, I've also grown leaps and bounds spiritually since becoming a mom. This has been partially because I've needed the Lord's help a lot during this time, and also because having a person in your home who is so fresh from heaven brings the Spirit there. I love it! Every time I look at Emma, I have absolutely no doubt that there is a God.

Now, for the financial side of things...I can't say that having a baby will bring you immediate financial blessings (although I may argue that in the long run the Lord may bless you with greater financial miracles than He would otherwise). However, I would gladly trade any income that I could be making today for Emma. Nate and I are, well, poor. We don't have a lot, though thanks to a sickening amount of student loans, we haven't had to go without anything essential. We have food to eat, though it isn't steak and lobster. We have a roof over our heads, though I know some people who would consider our apartment a dumb. We have clothes on our backs, though buying new clothes is seldom ever in the budget. Thanks to generous and supportive family members, we have a crib and a high chair for Emma, and even a few adorable outfits to dress her up in! Some people would flat out say that they could never survive a lifestyle like ours (no cable, no washer and dryer, no iPads or Xboxes, etc! Not possible!). However, I can honestly say that I do not feel that we are missing out on anything. Sure, it would be nice to have more money, if only so that we could be more generous. But I don't feel that we deserve nor need more than what we have. I do not suffer from a false sense of entitlement. I feel extremely blessed and do not feel that any more money would bring any more happiness.

Okay, were there any more myths I was going to debunk? Oh yeah, the fun thing. Hurry up and travel the world and do all the fun things there are to do before you have kids, cause afterwards you'll never be able to! Kids suck the fun out of everything! Um.....LIES!!!!!!!!! And even if it were true, isn't that really selfish!? A wonderful child of God has been waiting for centuries to come to earth to a righteous family, but we are going to make them wait even longer because we have to see Europe first!? Seriously!? Can you tell I'm a little passionate about this? It's been my DREAM since forever to go to Europe, so I am in no way ignorant of how it feels to want to do something really badly. But come on! If I only live 40 years on this earth, I want to know that in those years I did something really meaningful, like have a family! I can see Europe when I'm dead, or, hopefully, when I'm older and I've already done the most important things to do in this life. Oh, and kids do not suck the fun out of everything! Kids put the fun into everything! Emma is so full of life! She teaches me everyday how to live it more fully and enjoy it more. If I go on a road trip, I want to bring my kids with me so that I can see the look on their faces when they play on the beach for the first time! Sure, there will be times when Nate and I will want to go away for some alone time, but as much as possible, I want to give my children every opportunity to savor every moment of this life. And I'll get to watch on the sidelines and experience that abundance of joy with them (and the chaos, too).

Emma chasing Sylvia's cat :)

Emma climbing the wall :)

Sorry if I bored you to death! I just couldn't let my defense of the most wonderful thing in the world (the family) go unsaid. Now, here's an update on how our lives are going. We had a fun trip to Utah over spring break. We got see lots of family and say goodbye to Nate's grandpa before he passed away. The funeral was peaceful and filled with love. We miss Grandpa Bushman a lot but we're glad he is back with his wife.

Grandpa Bushman said of Emma, "Keep her!"

Emma and Grandma Olsen

Nate is in his third quarter in dental school, and I think so far this might be his least favorite, mostly due to boring classes and power hungry professors. He is working on getting his window washing business up and running again for the spring (pray for some success for us please!). He loves being a dad, though Emma is going through a mama's girl stage and always prefers to be held by me. So, needless to say his favorite thing is getting to hold her when she is asleep :)

Emma watching Nate BBQ chicken :)

Emma is cuter than ever and advancing at rapid speed. Everyone is starting to make guesses about when she will start walking (I think by 10 months for sure). She is fast, sneaky, and always getting into trouble. She is definitely a lot of fun to have around. I love crawling around on the floor chasing her, to which she responds by crawling away as fast as she can and giggling. Tickle fights are also a lot of fun (I love listening to her laugh). She loves food (much like I did as a baby), but has the metabolism of her father, which is way too fast! I've started letting her feed herself a little by giving her little pieces of fruit or vegetables, and she's able to get the food into her mouth about half of the time now :) Sleep training finally was a success, and she goes down without a peep at 7 o'clock, with two naps during the day. This has been awesome for me! She still doesn't sleep through the night (waking up to eat twice), and the last couple of nights she has slept very fitfully, keeping both Nate and I up. Hopefully this will not last! I'm still looking for an answer on how to get her to sleep through the night...She, however, is as happy as can be with her sleep schedule and has boundless energy during the day. Every time we go to the grocery store, people stop and ask me about Emma, and then they almost always ask, "Is she always so happy?" The answer is yes! She's a truly happy baby and brings joy to everyone she meets :)

As for me, I'm doing well, other than the mild sleep deprivation (I'm surprised I escaped it for so long!). My days keep flying by and I keep hoping that I've done something productive and meaningful with each one. I've really enjoyed making new friends here in Spokane. We've had many fun game nights and dinner parties.     Oh, and this Sunday I prepared the wrong lesson for primary and had to totally wing the lesson! It was mortifying! Hopefully the kids learned something though...other than that bad experience I've loved teaching primary. Life is good here :) The one dark spot is the knowledge that we are moving to Seattle at the end of the summer. I've really grown to like it here and am dreading packing everything up again and leaving. Wish us luck!

-Kamie

Baby Mania

My best friend Brianna, Emma and I :)

Well, our world got turned upside down about a month ago. Why? Emma started crawling at only 5 1/2 months old! It's been a constant whirlwind of chasing her down and separating her from whatever dangerous object she's found since. And boy it's been fun! Among the list of dangerous things she can't seem to resist are the power strip, the printer, any cord, the trash, the toilet, the recycle bin, the dishwasher, the bookshelves, dvds, the entertainment center, chairs, plastic bags, paper, and my personal favorite, the shelves on the changing table. I've just about given up on keeping the living room clean since she tears it apart everyday, and, don't tell anyone, but I don't think there's a square inch of carpet in there that she hasn't managed to spit up on. Good thing were moving this summer!

Me teaching Emma to crawl :)

Emma climbs everything she can get a grip on!

Emma watching my workout video :)

Playing with the DVDs...everyday!!

Nate caught Emma eating a pear that she found in the trash!

More climbing :)

Emma ate the Ensigns!!!!

Practicing her yoga :)

As for keeping her from hurting herself, I mostly just keep anything sharp up high and I've blocked off all the cords under the computer desk. Then I let her roam to her heart's content. It seems to be working well so far. Except when she pulls herself to standing on a chair or couch and then proceeds to let go, allowing herself to fall limply in any direction. Most of the time she's unharmed, but when she does cry I encourage her to get back up and say, "You're okay." After which she is once again chipper as can be. She's also wised up a bit and is learning to land on her bum instead of her head.

Emma helping Nate unload the dishwasher :)

 

Emma watching Nate BBQ on the deck :)

I think I am relieved that she seems to be able to entertain herself all day. The only time she demands my presence is when she wants to fall asleep (sleep training is still an ongoing process for us, but after months of struggling to get Emma to fall asleep at a reasonable hour, I finally gave in and tried the cry-it-out method. She fell asleep after an hour of crying and slept through the night! So this time I have hope that it will work, and I won't give up! One day she will fall asleep with no crying at all!) or when she is hungry. Speaking of hungry, she loves baby food! She's mastered the art of eating from a spoon, although it's debatable whether more food gets in her mouth or on her face. She eats anything I feed her, but I think her favorite food is bananas. One of the cutest things I've ever seen was Emma's face the first time she had to strain to poop. So adorable!

You can see how well coaxing her to sleep was working...

This is her putting up a fight lol :) After this we took down the bassinet for fear she might climb right out!

Well eventually she falls asleep...

She also likes eating my hair now...weird! Lol :)

Emma's messy face after dinner one night :)

Emma eating :)

We had a great Valentine's this year. If you want to know what I begged for from Nate, you'll have to ask him. Oh nevermind I'll tell you! A love note and some hand weights (I always go for the practical gift since we don't have a ton of money). He threw in some sour gummy worms and hydrangeas :) I got him See's chocolate of course and a poem. But the real present for ourselves was a date night out without the nina. We had a blast! A couple of hours alone after 6 months of constant baby company can do wonders! :)

Emma and I made a trip down to Utah in February. I think Emma had a blast. She certainly is fond of my parents and siblings, especially my dad, but it seems to me that she likes just about anyone. She's a genuinely friendly and happy baby. An angel if you ask me ;) She learned to wave "Bye-bye" while we were there because grandma and grandpa would always come to say goodnight and eventually she started waving at them!

On the train to Provo :)

Breakfast with my friends Allie, Megan, Susan and Aubrey :)

Emma gets spoiled at grandma and grandpa's house :)

Aunt Kylie feeding Emma gummy worms :)

While in Utah I got to see Brianna, my best friend who I hadn't seen for 18 months while she was in Alabama on a mission. It was so fun to see her again! I also got to visit with some friends from college and Emma's aunt Shanie and uncle Kyle. We had a blast, but we were just as excited to get back home to Nate. Emma squealed and giggled in delight for a whole minute when she saw Nate again. I don't think I've seen anything cuter (have I said that before? Well everything she does is cute).

 

Emma crawling and waving :)

It was kind of a miracle that we got to go to Utah. I was looking at flights and the prices got more and more ridiculous every day! Just as I was having a very mature adult fit (I may be exaggerating a bit about the mature part), someone sweeped in to save the day. My cousin, Ginny, who I hadn't seen in something like 15 years, told me she would be travelling from her home in Northern Idaho to Utah around the same time I needed to get there, and she could take me! Ginny you are awesome! :) Anyways, my prayers were definitely answered and now I feel silly that I ever threw a fit in the first place. Turns out the Lord really did care about my wish to go, and he had a way of working things out that I never would've guessed! :)

As for how we're doing, Nate's classes are starting to pick up. We've both been sick on and off for what seems like all winter, but the couple of days of sunshine we've had this week are giving me hope that spring is just around the corner! I'm starting to feel like I might actually be getting through to my primary class, and I'm finally back to pre-pregnancy weight. So no serious complaints here :) As for Emma, she's as content as can be :) In fact, we watched the whole BBC version of Pride and Prejudice and I'm not sure who enjoyed it more, Emma or me :)

-Kamie

10 Reasons I Love My Church

You probably already know that I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Not only do I know that the church is true, but I also love being a member of it. For those of you who believe the same as I do, I hope you love these things too. For everyone else, I hope you can understand why I love them. Enjoy!

 1) We are led by a living prophet who holds the priesthood and receives revelation. How cool is that!? I love not having to guess at what the scriptures mean and try to figure it all out on my own. There is far too much confusion in this world for that. I trust that the Lord's prophet on the earth today tells the truth and leads the Lord's church the way that Christ would if He were here. 

2) We have a wonderful support system. I know if I ever need anything I can call on the other wonderful members of the church. Moving to a new place was scary, but I instantly had new friends and a support system when I got here. Where else can you find that? So cool! 

3) We emphasize the importance of families. In today's world, independence and seeking personal pleasure are valued higher than the family, but I know that this attitude is incorrect. As a result, I have been able to taste the great joy that comes from having a family! Family life isn't "easy," but we all know that it's always the hard things that are the most worth it in life. 

4) We have high moral standards. A lot of people would call this restrictive, but I know that these standards protect me. There is no lasting happiness in sinning a little, or dipping our toes in the adversaries temptations. I know that "Heaven will not be heaven for those who have not chosen to be heavenly." -Brad Wilcox

5) We have temples. Going to the temple helps me remember my relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I know that I lived with them before this life and I will live with them again. I know that they love me, even though I am not perfect. 

6) We believe in being changed by grace through repentance. I know that there are more than the two options of giving up or perfection. We will never be perfect in this life, but Christ is with us and helps us to become like Him if we just trust in Him. I have hope that I can become the person that I want to be with Christ's help. My mistakes and weaknesses do not define me. "Grace is not the absence of God’s high expectations. Grace is the presence of God’s power" -Brad Wilcox

7) Women are valued. Some may argue with this point, but I know from the Young Women's Program and from Relief Society that Heavenly Father loves His daughters. It is because He loves them that He guides them to the life that will bring them the most happiness. Personally, for me that has meant a loving marriage to a really good man. There are few of them these days, so I know that I am truly blessed to have been able to find Nate. My heart aches for the women of the world who are mistreated by today's men. Women deserve more, and they can find it in the LDS church and way of life. 

8) We are asked to serve in difficult ways. Who knew this would be one of my favorite things? No one likes doing hard things at first because it is uncomfortable to stretch ourselves. However, I realize as I serve in the church doing things that are a challenge for me, the Lord helps me to grow into those roles. I become a better person through each calling and each opportunity to serve. 

9) We believe there is a purpose to this life. This one gives me motivation when life gets really hard. We are here to get a body and to prove to God that we love Him and want to serve Him. After this life, we will be rewarded with more than just worshiping God on a cloud forever (I think I would get a little bored of that). We will be with our families and have the ability to create. Cool! Who knows if there was a big bang or evolution really happened. All I know for sure is that, however we and the earth were created, it wasn't an accident, and nothing that has happened since was an accident either. 

10) We believe that the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost are three separate beings. Why do I like this one? Because John 3:16 means so much more when we understand that God literally gave His Son for us! He watched Christ suffer and die because He loves us so much that He wanted us to be saved. A parent can understand how great of a sacrifice that was, and how much God really does love us. I love knowing the Heavenly Father is literally my father and that He loves me and wants what is best for me. 

-Kamie

Random Thoughts from Momhood

One of the best and worst parts of momhood is that I have LOADS of time to think. Lately, I've begun to think in short blurbs of passion (I think this may be a family trait). So, I decided to record some of my most important, frustrating, and meaningful thoughts here just for you! Hopefully you'll laugh, or if not, at least learn something. That's why we're here, right?

• I think Emma is trying to teach me a lesson about vanity. Every time, without fail, I put her into a new outfit for the first time she insists on pooping all over it! I know it can't be a mere coincidence ;) It must be her telling me that trying to dress her all cute to impress people is shallow. Babies are like that. They come to earth knowing everything that we've forgotten and teach us profound lessons, that is, if we are willing to pay attention. 

Emma and I at the airport

• Being a stay-at-home mom in the modern world, I've faced a lot of ridicule from those who think motherhood is not important or less important than a career. Also, I've had my own feelings of resentment as I've spent all day doing seemingly unappreciated things for my family and felt that I could be doing something more with all the knowledge I've worked hard to obtain (come on other moms, I know you've felt the same way once of twice). So, as I've been reading in the new testament, Matthew 23:11 really stood out to me. Christ says, "But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant." Wow! If there is a title besides "mom" that best fits what I do, it might be "servant," and now I'm realizing that contrary to popular opinion, that is actually a good thing. Heavenly Father clearly loves and cherishes woman and their great role of motherhood, and this must be why. Because, like the Savior, they give their lives for the purpose of making someone else's life possible and pleasant. Can you get any lovelier than that? I think not. Not that there aren't many awesome ways to contribute in this world, I just think that motherhood may perhaps be the greatest among them. 

• My friend Brianna gets home from her mission in a couple of weeks, and it clearly has been the best 18 months of her life. From her letters, I gather that she is having the time of her life. I think about this and then compare it with my own experience. The Lord led her to go on a mission, and He led me to get married and have a family. I think I can honestly say that I am happier now than I have been at any other time in my life. I know that the path I took was the one that would bring me the most happiness, and I believe the same holds true for Brianna. This leads me to be in total awe of my Heavenly Father.  He knows us all individually and can help us down the path that will bring us each personally the most joy. This is another testimony to me that God lives and the He loves us. 
• I finally understand with perfect clarity why all plastic grocery sacks say on them, "Keep away from children." Why? Because if Emma even gets a whiff of something plastic she will stop at nothing next to crawling in order to get her hands, and mouth, and drool all over it. Oh, and bags aren't the only hazard Emma is in love with. She is also drawn to cords. Computer cord, phone charger, even my breast pump cord. If she sees it, she has to have it. So funny, potentially makes for hours of entertainment, and yet, so dangerous. Babies!

• You know your husband is a future dentist when: The bathroom counter and drawers are full of tooth brushes, tooth paste, and just about every other dental tool you can image. Or, when his idea of complimenting you is to say, "Look at those incisors!" after which he begins examining your teeth. Also, when forgetting to floss your teeth or letting Emma suck on your apple core (apparently I shouldn't give her my dental bacteria) are sins of the most grievous kind. Dentists!

Nate teaching Emma to drive.

 Okay, now for the updates on our family.

Nate started his second quarter of Dental School about a month ago. So far, this one is going better than the last. He is also working Saturdays washing windows for his window washing business. Yes, some people want their windows done in the winter. Weird. But we are grateful for the business. He is busy but enjoying himself. He loves coming home in the evening and playing with Emma. His only complaint is that he wishes he had more time to do missionary work. 

Emma started sitting up by herself about a month ago. Now she can scoot across the floor in every direction but forwards. She is making attempts at crawling, like getting on her hands and knees and trying to move forward, but she usually falls. We expect she will be crawling in the next few weeks. I think she is catching on to some language, making the noises but not knowing what they mean. For example, I swear I have heard her make sounds that sound like "Emma," "Mom," "Hi," and even "Help." It may be my imagination, but it's still fun to listen to. We have started sleep training with her, and she is doing really well falling asleep by herself at nap time after only a few minutes if crying. Nights are still rough but getting better. Lastly, she has has a few tastes of some real food, including sucking on apples and carrots (nothing solid though) and some rice cereal. Here are pictures and a video of our little cutie. 

This is Emma attempting to crawl. She scooted backwards and ended up in a corner. If you're bored, skip to minute 3. 

As for me, I am doing well. I'm starting to recognize myself when I look in the mirror again, and most of my old clothes fit. I've been working out more often, so I feel much healthier. The days fly by now and before I know it Nate is on his way home and it's time for dinner. I've been trying out some new recipes, like salmon sandwiches with homemade tartar sauce (who knew it was so easy!?) and Cafe Rio pork tacos. Yum! I've also been reading, painting, and trying my hand at poetry. Here is something I wrote for a widow in our ward whose brother is dying. 

Poem for Jerry

Heaven is not far, I feel, I hear

Angels' words as soft as thought

Rays of heaven's love shine down

And make the distance this as not

A baby sleeps, a garden grows

A gentle breeze brings truth sweet

All around me my God is found

The heart that sees has joy complete

Here and there a hurt finds root

Life is wonder, yet frail, need faith

This moment in flesh gone by, gone

Hope carries all to a brighter day

His life, given then and now still

My gift, what I make of breath

And moment, do I say, "I will!"

Great faith moves me to be more

Oh God, hear my humble prayer

With thee I desire to be always

Now in spirit, next in flesh

I'll feel thy love abound, never end

Our love to all of you! We miss our family and friends but are enjoying our grand adventure here in the foggy city (at least that's what they should call it this time of year). 

Love,

Kamie