If Ye are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear: James' Birth Story Part 1

Nate and I recently welcomed our second child, Nathan James Bushman, into our family, but the story doesn't really begin there. Nate and I have been preparing for months for his arrival, and the journey has truly been as much a miracle as James' beautiful birth was.

Our little guy was named after his daddy, Nathan Earl Bushman, and
his grandpa, Darren James Olsen. Currently, we refer to him as James,
but he's also been called little Nate, Nate-ito, Nathan James, and of course,
Nater Tater. I figure he'll pick his favorite name when he's old enough :)

Though Nate and I were exhausted after Nate's insane school schedule last year, we really felt that it was time to start thinking about possibly expanding our family. I prayed and prayed and hoped for some divine manifestation declaring it was time to have our second child, but the answer I got was much different than the strong impressions I received when we felt we were supposed to have Emma. This time, the Spirit whispered that it was up to me to decide when I was ready. Of course, this answer was hard for me because I never feel ready! However, with lots of pondering, we finally decided that we knew Emma needed a sibling, so ready or not, James was on his way!

Awhile ago I decided that it would be so fun to keep my next pregnancy a secret from everyone, including family, until after the first trimester (or until I was showing). Then, when I actually was pregnant, I experienced a lot of anxiety and worry that something might go wrong. The combination of not telling anyone and constantly worrying was actually pretty toxic for me. To top it off, I was embarrassed that I was struggling to feel excited about the pregnancy because Emma had just begun the terrible twos and her naughty behavior was causing me a lot of stress. Anyways, that first trimester was really hard for me emotionally, which made up for the fact that I didn't feel very sick physically. I feel awful for having been so cranky to everyone during that time!

Then, one day I started to feel James moving, and my excitement grew. That's when James became real to me, and I began to be able to bond with him. When we found out he was a boy, I wasn't surprised at all. Actually, I had already assumed he was a boy, so I was relieved that I wasn't wrong. I'm extremely grateful that Heavenly Father had prepared me, otherwise I would've been scared to have a boy. Thankfully, my nerves on that subject were already calmed a bit before the 20 week ultrasound.

What really made the biggest difference for me, though, in changing this pregnancy from a fearful, anxious one to a happy, excited one, was my childbirth prep. I decided after having an epidural with Emma and not liking the experience very much that I didn't want to go that route again, so I started researching natural childbirth. During my research I discovered something called the Fear-Tension-Pain Syndrome. This theory, based on a scientific understanding of how the muscles of the uterus work, states that when anxiety or fear are present in a woman during childbirth, her body, including the muscles of the uterus, tense up. When the uterus tenses, the contractions that are designed to open the cervix become restricted and painful and do not do their job as well. This accounts for a large percentage of long, painful labors in modern society (though certainly in some cases genes also play a role), according to Grantly Dick-Read, the author of Childbirth Without Fear. Coming from a scientific perspective myself, this theory made a lot of sense to me. Having experienced two very different labors now, I am even more inclined to agree with it. More on that in Part 2. So, in my study of childbirth, I came across a whole field of people who believe that labor doesn't actually have to hurt. Instead of pain, words such as "pressure" and "intense" are used to describe uterine contractions. According to this theory, childbirth is supposed to take concentration and work, but it isn't supposed to be painful, as long as fear isn't present.

You can imagine how badly I wanted to believe that this theory was true, especially since I didn't want another epidural. However, when I discovered fear was the problem, I got discouraged. Why? Because fear has always been one of my greatest weaknesses. My entire life I've been terrified of anything that I couldn't control. I was already suffering from a lot of anxiety at the beginning of the pregnancy, so I knew that just knowing I wasn't supposed to be afraid wasn't going to be enough to ensure that I actually wouldn't be afraid during my labor. How could I keep my overanxious nature from kicking into gear once my labor started? What was I supposed to do?

Up to this point, I had never really considered hypno-birthing as an option. In fact, like some of you, I thought the idea was kinda hokey. However, a couple of my friends here in Seattle had used it and had nothing but positive things to say about it. A friend of mine lent me the Hypnobabies program, and I decided it couldn't hurt just to see what it was all about. I didn't realize when I began that I was unlocking the door to a source of wisdom I had yet to tap into, and that I was about to uncover the answers to my overarching problem of fear.

I discovered quickly that for me, self-hypnosis was really like meditation with the added bonus of training my entire body to relax on command. I listened to a half an hour long track everyday as part of my training. What I enjoyed most was the opportunity to delve into my own mind everyday, going to my "special place" and pondering. I got to know myself, my baby, and my Savior really well during this process. I had many spiritual experiences too sacred to write about on this blog, and I was able to accept truth that was previously hard for me to understand. I also figured out what some of my worst fears were and had the chance to face them before my labor. Here's a few just so you get the idea:

As mentioned before, I was pretty nervous about having a boy. I was scared James would be rebellious or violent. I also worried that he might be born with a disability. When I thought about all the possible trials I might face with my son, I felt overwhelmed with fear. However, during some of my pondering, I realized that what I needed to do was decide right now to love James no matter what. When I did that, all my fear melted away. It brought to mind the scripture: There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. It dawned on me that faith is not an exact opposite of fear, but love is. When I allowed myself to really love James, I was released from the fear that had been tormenting me because I was willing to accept whatever trials came knowing they would be worth having James in my eternal family.

Another fear I had was that I wouldn't be strong enough to reach my goal of having a natural childbirth. When I thought about it, though, I realized that I had no desire to have the epidural. I went into this childbirth not even considering the epidural to be an option, where with Emma I decided I would only get the epidural if I couldn't handle the pain. I know this change in mindset made a huge difference. Also, when I thought about childbirth, I realized that I wasn't afraid of labor anymore. I didn't believe that it was supposed to be painful. I was excited and looking forward to the experience. Though I still worried that I might fail, or more so that I was wrong in my belief that childbirth didn't have to be painful, I knew that I had done everything I could to prepare, and I felt ready.

Through this process of facing my fears and overcoming them, I've come to learn the peace and the freedom that comes from letting go and trusting myself and, more importantly, my Heavenly Father. Hypnobabies teaches that fear is the misuse of the imagination. I believe that this is true. Our minds are so powerful! Most of the time, what we choose to believe actually has an impact on what comes to pass! Our imagination affects our reality! So, being optimistic and choosing to believe that the best will happen (with the added acceptance that the best might not happen if Heavenly Father has other plans, in which case whatever happens will still be best for us in the eternal scheme of things) might actually make life better. I also believe that, as children of God, it is essential that we do not go around planting and inspiring fear in others. Fear is debilitating and separates us from God and from our better selves. I've grown to appreciate the uplifting and confidence inspiring words of my friends and family, and, sadly, have learned that it is necessary to tune out the negative, fear inspiring words of those around me. Comments such as, "Aren't you nervous?" "Do you really think you can handle that?" "That's going to be so hard" and so on and so forth, stress me out a ton and make me fearful unless I actively decide not to let them affect me. I know people have good intentions and are ignorant of the affect of their words, though. Anyways, I've learned to be careful about what I say to others because of this experience, and I've started looking forward to the future with excitement and confidence rather than fear.

Something else that has had a huge impact on me through this process is my changing understanding of God. Joseph Smith taught in The Lectures on Faith that in order to have faith in God we have to correctly understand His attributes. This has been a key struggle in my faith. Being a perfectionist, I tend to think Heavenly Father is constantly disappointed in me. Obviously, this puts distance between Him and I and makes it more difficult for me to feel His love. Recently, I read The God Who Weeps by Terryl and Fiona Givens, and it really opened my eyes. It reminded me that Heavenly Father chose to be my father and he chose to love me knowing all along that in choosing to love He would make Himself vulnerable to the pain of watching me struggle and make mistakes. He is not a heartless, demanding father. He is a loving, involved father who weeps when we weep, and in return, rejoices when we rejoice. He wants us to be happy. I couldn't help feeling like I was asking for too much when I prayed that Heavenly Father would help me to be able to have James naturally. I kept thinking that I didn't deserve a blessing that meant so much to me because I was so imperfect. However, after reading The God Who Weeps, I realized that I don't have to deserve or earn God's love and His desire to bless me. He tells us to ask, and it will be given us. My desire for a successful natural childbirth was a righteous desire, so it was wrong of me to be afraid that God would not grant it simply because I was not perfect enough. He did grant me my desire, and I know even more surely now that God cares about what we care about. He loves us unconditionally. This knowledge has lifted a huge burden that I have been carrying around unnecessarily my whole life.

Who knew when I began preparing to have a natural childbirth that it would change my life? I had no idea the miracles Heavenly Father had in store for me. I feel like a brand new person, and I can't believe the difference in my confidence, faith, love, and happiness.

For the rest of James' birth story, look for Part 2 :)

Kamie

You Know You're a Mom When...

I guess the fact that we're about to welcome another child into the family is making me sentimental. Everyday I look at Emma and get teary eyed. How could I possibly love her so much? I thought I loved her when she was born, but even that love pales in comparison to the love I have for her today. We've had such a fun two and a half years together! I couldn't be more proud of my little girl!

I've been reflecting a lot on how my life has changed since Emma became a part of it. The thoughts all started to fall under the same headline. There are a million more things that fall under mommyhood, but these are the ones I'm experiencing with Emma right now.

You know you're a mom when...Any chocolate in the house becomes "mommy's special chocolate" and needs a clever hiding place in order to be kept out of toddler hands.

You know you're a mom when...Sharing mommy's special chocolate becomes a pre-nap ritual that both mom and daughter giggle over.

Chocolate face :)

You know you're a mom when...The words "I poop in the potty!" are music to the ears.

You know you're a mom when...You're grateful for a memory foam bathmat because you spend a lot of time sitting on the bathroom floor waiting for your child to finish using the potty.

You know you're a mom when...Your child using the bathroom becomes a game of her giggling and saying, "Mommy don't look!" and you peeking occasionally just to make her laugh.

You know you're a mom when...The top of the fridge becomes the only place in the house even remotely out of your toddler's reach, and thus it becomes full to the brim of everything you want to keep safe.

You know you're a mom when...Nap time becomes sacred and nothing makes you angrier than someone waking up your child!

You know you're a mom when...You feel like a part of you is missing every time you're away from your child for any length of time.

You know you're a mom when...Your child is in charge of your portion control. Suddenly your cereal has a toddler spoon in it, and your lunch is half eaten by the time you take the first bite. The truth is, you enjoy this.

You know you're a mom when...A silent evening at home becomes a treasure that you wouldn't trade for any amount of fun.

You know you're a mom when...Driving through a tunnel requires cheers and whoops, as does pulling into the parking lot at home. Emma always shouts excitedly, "Emma's house!"

You know you're a mom when...You catch yourself telling your two your old that they're your best friend.

You know you're a mom when...Your child yelling enthusiastically, "Mommy did it!" every time you button a button or zip a zipper makes your day.

You know you're a mom when...You say the words "poop," "pee," and "potty" multiple times a day.

You know you're a mom when...You're no longer grossed out by poop, pee, spit-up, snot, or pretty much anything else a child secretes.

You know you're a mom when...Your alarm clock becomes, "Mommy wake up! All done sleeping!"

You know you're a mom when...You endure an entire day of running a child up and down the stairs to use the potty, and you wake up the next day ready to do it (and all the other exhausting things being a mom entails) again.

You know you're a mom when...You have to try really hard not to giggle during family prayer because your child insists on praying for all of her friends and family by name, shouting each one at the top of her lungs.

You know you're a mom when...Your proudest moment is when your child recognizes a picture of Christ and excitedly exclaims, "Mommy, it's Jesus!"

You know you're a mom when...Cuddling, kissing, tickling and nibbling on your child become far too tempting to resist.

You know you're a mom when...You realize there is nothing you wouldn't do to protect your little one.

You know you're a mom when...You tear up a little bit every time your child smiles and says, "I love you mommy."

Now here's a summary of this pregnancy and how it has been different from Emma's:

I remember when I was pregnant with Emma I would wake up in the middle of the night STARVING, and I'd have to eat a bowl of cereal (usually cocoa puffs) before I could fall back asleep. The same thing would happen every morning, and I would moan in bed complaining to Nate that I was so hungry I would die if he didn't bring me breakfast immediately. I wasn't making it up either. It really was that painful, excruciating kind of hunger that makes you so sick! Everyday! And Nate generously got me a bowl of cereal every morning without laughing at me (too much). I craved citrus, pickles, and sour candy with Emma, but really I wanted to eat anything I could get my hands on.

This pregnancy has been weird because I haven't felt any hungrier than normal. In the first trimester, I actually didn't feel hungry at all. I would occasionally get low blood sugar and feel faint, and that would remind me to eat. It's easy to forget to eat when taking care of kids. Anyways, in the second trimester I started to get the insatiable hunger again, but then I started a low-gluten diet. I've discovered that eating a lot of gluten messes with my body's natural hunger signals, sometimes making me not feel hungry when I'm fasting and sometimes making me feel starving even after I just ate. Gluten also aggravates my allergies and asthma, which were really bad the first trimester of this pregnancy, and that was enough to convince me to go off of gluten. So, as far as eating goes, my body has been much kinder to me this time around, and has only told me I need to eat when, in fact, I actually need to eat. My appetite was, of course, way down in the first trimester, so I only ate when I had to. I couldn't even look at goodies because they made me nauseous. I've craved citrus again, which has motivated me to eat a lot of fruit. It wasn't till after Christmas, and into the third trimester that I suddenly had a huge craving for junk food. Hot chocolate, sea salted dark chocolate, pie, caramel popcorn, ice cream, popcorn with milk duds, and brownies have all taken their turn being my NEED.

With Emma, I was busy with school and working at BYU Catering, so I didn't really make exercise a priority. I remember feeling exhausted, sore, and yucky all the time. It wasn't till the third trimester that I attempted a little prenatal yoga, jogging on the elliptical, and cycling. Just that little bit of activity helped me so much! This pregnancy, I've tried really hard to exercise almost everyday, and I can tell it makes a difference. I can feel my blood pooling in my legs if I haven't been active, so I know the exercise is helping my circulation and keeping my lungs and heart in shape, even if I'm giving a lot of my muscles, especially my abs, a break. All it takes is a few minutes on the elliptical or some prenatal yoga, and I feel great!

I was pregnant with Emma in the summer, and that was absolutely miserable. I can't tell you how many buckets I sweated before she was born! It was agony! I felt like I couldn't possibly shower enough. My hands and feet swelled a ton! This time, it's conveniently cold. I keep my house cooler than I normally would, especially at night, and I avoid a lot of the overheating and swelling that comes with pregnancy. It's great!

Let's be frank. When I'm pregnant, I need a lot of sleep. That's how my body copes. I remember sleeping 12 hours a night by the end of my pregnancy with Emma. Now, I'm lucky if I get 8 hours at night, but I almost always get a nap (1-3 hours) everyday to make up for the difference. I'm so blessed that Emma and Tali will both take a long nap at the same time so that I can catch up on my rest. I'm going to need a lot of extra stored up for the next few months!

I remember crying over everything when I was pregnant with Emma. I was really emotional, and completely overwhelmed by the idea of having a baby. I had no idea what it was going to be like! I had to actively think of all the things that were cute about babies so I would be excited rather than terrified (I've never been good at first time experiences). This time, I have been just as emotional, but in a different way. I know now what having a baby means. I know what things to be excited about and what things are going to be difficult. In the first trimester when I wasn't feeling well, it was easy to think of all the things that were going to be hard and feel overwhelmed or scared. Now, I'm feeling more and more excited. It seems silly to me to be afraid of losing a little sleep and constantly smelling like spit-up. I know babies are worth it. I look at Emma everyday and I couldn't be more convinced that I made the right decision by bringing her into the world. I know the same will be true about her little brother.

Emma was extremely active in the womb. She would throw entire limbs around, and I could see them poking out of my stomach sometimes. This little guy moves a lot as well, but in a different way. He wiggles subtly. He doesn't kick me as hard or do back flips. He nudges his foot or his back against me, leaving me feeling like my uterus is going to pop. With Emma I felt jabs and kicks, but with him I feel lots of pressure, like he's stretching and trying to make more room for himself in there. Both of them have elicited comments from my midwives about how active they are since they are almost always moving around when we're trying to listen to their little heartbeats.

I got heartburn a lot sooner with Emma, near the end of the first trimester. I remember chewing tums all through the night so that I could sleep. This pregnancy, the heartburn didn't hit till 32 weeks, but it has hit really hard! I've taken to drinking a cup of watered down baking soda every night. Even that sometimes isn't enough to quench the pain. The more he wiggles, the worse the burn. There's just not enough room for him and my stomach in there! I've been really lucky to not have any digestive issues with either pregnancy, though, other than having to pee every hour (or every ten minutes nowadays).

My gums got really swollen and bled a lot when I was pregnant with Emma, but otherwise, my mouth made it through unscathed. This pregnancy, I was shocked that my mouth seemed normal. Then I woke up one day and noticed my gums were receding! I'm kinda freaking out because gum recession is irreversible! I wonder how many kids I can have before my gums are totally gone. Grrr!

I'm happy to report that I've gained a much healthier amount of weight this time around. With Emma, I gained almost 40 lbs. I was also 10 lbs heavier at the start of her pregnancy than I was at the start of this pregnancy. I've gained around 20 lbs this time, which is on the lower end of the range my midwives recommend, but is still within the 18-35 lb ideal range. I've been eating lots of protein and staying active, so I feel like my body is doing what it's supposed to do, and the excruciating self-consciousness I felt when I was pregnant with Emma is not nearly as bad this time, which is such a relief. Seriously! Other than my poor face, which can't help looking chubby no matter what I do, most of the rest of me looks like my normal self (minus the giant belly of course!).

This pregnancy

Emma about 30 weeks

Emma about 36 weeks

With Emma, my nesting made moving to Spokane a month before my due date possible. I had the house unpacked and ready for the little one in no time! Actually, since I was convinced she was going to come two weeks early, I sat around with nothing to do for that last week and a half before she was born! I was walking around dilated to a three before I went into labor with Emma, and she was born four days before her due date. This time, my nesting kicked in once we got back from our Christmas vacation. It's gotten progressively stronger as my Braxton-Hicks contractions have gotten more and more frequent. The last week or so I've felt a lot of pressure in my perineum, and it almost feels like the baby might fall out. Turns out I am 4 cm dilated and 2 cm effaced already! I'm glad to know I wasn't just imagining the pressure. Anyways, looks like Emma's little brother may come more than four days early.

Can't wait to write a birth story post next!

Kamie

Count Your Blessings

First, I just want to say how grateful I am that things have been going so smoothly for us these last few months. Don't get me wrong, we've had our hard days and struggles, but compared to last year (the terrible second year of dental school) life has been bliss!

My cute family :)

Here's some things I'm especially thankful for:

After totaling our car two Thanksgivings ago, we've been anxious about travelling for the holidays. However, this year it seemed most reasonable for us to drive to visit family rather than fly, so with fervent prayer, we set out on the road for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. A week in advance, the weather predicted snow on the days we needed to drive, but by some miracle, the snow never came, and we've driven on perfect roads the whole time. We are so grateful!

Someone found mommy's chocolate :)

Little Tali Sue, the adorable 8 month old baby I've been nannying, is an angel. Emma loves her too! We have gotten into a routine, and Tali has become like a part of the family. She's with us from 7 AM to 5:30 PM four days a week. On the days she's not there, Emma continually asks for Tali.

She's crawling and pulling herself up now :)

Two weeks before Christmas, Emma suddenly decided she wanted to be completely potty trained! After 6 months of on and off trying, she finally hopped on board. Now she wears panties during the day and tells me when she has to go to the bathroom. She is pretty good about not having accidents, even when we go out. She wears a cloth diaper at night, but usually it's dry in the morning. It's a miracle!

Emma loves her new cloth diapers!

Nate had a really light schedule last quarter, so he was around more to help out, babysit the kids while I went to the doctor, and even cook and clean! The first two weeks of this quarter have been crazier, but overall he's still around a lot more.

I know this is weird for a lot of women, but I actually like being pregnant, especially now that I can feel the baby moving so often. This pregnancy has gone by so quickly, and it's been much easier than I expected. At this point, my few complaints are the pudgy cheeks, terrible memory, and a bit of heart burn. I've been on a low-gluten diet, which has helped a lot with the insatiable hunger and bloating I got when I was pregnant with Emma. I feel pretty normal now, though I do cry easily, stink at board games, and down a lot of tums. It's all worth it because I get to feel my little baby boy squirm around every time a baby cries, or when I lay down or turn on music. He also likes to move when he hears his daddy's voice. I love the bonding I get to have with my baby in the womb. I can't explain it, but it's really special to me.

I finally feel like I'm getting the hang of my calling as a ward missionary. It has been so hard for me, but Nate is a great example and I've really come to love the awesome people I've gotten to work with. We've had a lot of baptisms this year, mostly due to the fantastic missionaries we've had come through our ward.

Christmas:

We got to spend lots of time with family over the Christmas break. It was so fun to watch Emma bond with family members. At my parent's house, she remembered everyone this time and finally opened up to my grandma, who Emma calls Grandma Doc, and my brother Kellen. With my family we went bowling, saw the Hobbit, worked on a 1000 piece puzzle together, played board games, talked endlessly over baby boy names, ate a lot of yummy food (especially ice cream and pie), went to the Temple Square lights with my mom's side of the family, and hung out and relaxed a lot. I got to catch up with Ashley, Brianna and Ariel, my good friends from back home, which was really nice. Nate got to bond with my dad by playing Halo (or killing aliens as they refer to it). Emma just loved seeing everyone, and her favorite game was pretending to be a lion and growling at everyone around. Kellen was especially good at pretending to be terrified of her, which she thoroughly enjoyed. Emma also loved getting to swim in grandma's jacuzzi bathtub and watching Netflix on grandma's tablet. When the snow came, Emma, my sister Kylie, Nate and I bundled up and went outside. Emma immediately decided she didn't like the strange white substance sticking to her fingers! She tried so hard to brush it off and then wanted to go back inside.

Emma found this at the bowling alley :)

Emma doing Doc's hair :)

We had a white Christmas in Utah :)

We got to go to the SLC Aquarium with my friend Ariel and her little boy :)

On Christmas day, Emma opened up everyone's presents including her own. When they were all opened, she cried and asked for more presents to open. We had a delicious breakfast made by the boys, then went to the movie theater as a family.

Grandpa videoing on Christmas morning.
Grandma Doc got to spend Christmas with us this year! :)

Emma was really excited that Santa brought her a new toothbrush :)

Christmas Day

My dad and I :)

Draper lights

Temple Square trip :)

At the Bushman's house, Emma explored every drawer in search of Grandma's makeup. Luckily, Grandma got Emma some of her very own makeup that wasn't quite so messy. Emma helped Grandma wash the dishes almost everyday. She also loved playing with her cousin, Peyton, who is 16 months old. She kept saying, "Peyton come!" and was frustrated when he didn't understand her. She absolutely adores him!

Cousin love :)

Make up!

Early Christmas dinner with the Bushmans.
Emma just wanted to wear her diaper :)

Playing at the park with daddy and Peyton :)

Nate and I got to spend time with Nate's siblings, Shanie and Nick. We also got to relax and catch up on some much needed sleep. One fun thing we did was listen to an audiobook on our drive, which we ended up needing to listen to while we were at the Bushmans because we couldn't put it down! New Year's was fun this year because I got to take a nap before midnight and I woke up just in time to kiss Nate when the ball dropped. It was nice to celebrate the night just Nate and I. It was a good bonding experience.

We didn't think Emma would ever be ready to leave her grandparents, but by the end of three weeks, she kept saying, "Emma's house!" She squealed with delight when we pulled into our apartment complex.

January:

As soon as we got home from our vacation, it hit me that we could have a baby any day now! I'm only a month away from my due date! So I've been playing catch up and trying to figure out everything I need to do before the baby comes.

Double stroller: Check.
Cloth diapers: Half check.
Figuring out where the baby will sleep in our two bedroom apartment: I have no idea. Probably in our room?
Boy clothes: Um...hopefully after my shower this will be a check.
Mental preparation for labor: I think I'm almost there. I'm actually really excited for labor this time around! (No, I'm not crazy! I'll explain this in a later post after the baby is born).
Mental preparation for having a second child: I've had an entire year of practice because I've been nannying, but still not sure I'm ready for the sleep deprivation part.
Getting Emma ready to be a sibling: She loves babies and says she is excited to have a little brother. We'll see how jealous she is though!
Excitement: Check! I can't wait to hold my baby! If only I knew his name!

Anything I'm missing!? Every week I'm stressing over something else! I am a bundle of hurt burn and nerves! Hopefully I can find my happy place by the time the baby comes! Haha pray for us! :)

Emma wearing baby brother's clothes :)

To end on a positive note, I'm so grateful for the awesome friends I've made in Seattle. They've really helped me out a lot this pregnancy. Three of my friends, all of whom are also pregnant, are throwing me a baby shower, which means a lot to me! I know I'm insane, but I'm going to keep nannying Tali even after the baby comes. We really like having Tali around and it's been the prefect way for me to make a little bit of money. I know things are going to be crazy for awhile, but I also know that with the help of our wonderful friends and family, we're going to get through everything okay :) I'm also grateful for the reminder I get every Sunday that I'm not doing this alone. I can always receive help from my Savior, and I know that when times are the hardest, that's when it's easiest to feel Him near. I'm excited to see what the future holds!

Kamie

Summer a Month Late & the Announcement! :)

Nate's dental school doesn't get out for its summer break until everyone else has already had theirs and is going back to school! So we're posting our summer fun a bit later than most!

So here's a synopsis of our summer in photo form:

Hiking at Deception Pass

Crabbing on the Sound

Look at the size of that thing!

Family canoeing trip :) 

Nate did all the rowing while I kept Emma from jumping into the water :)

Emma learned how to climb out of the crib!
She took to sleeping on the floor when we turned her crib into a bed!
Silly girl!

Cuddle buddies! :)

Popsicle pals!

Trip to Leavenworth! :)

Trying on hats at the Hat Shop :)

Fun little "German" town in Washington :) 

Playing at the park in Spokane

Haha!

We made our way to Utah to see my family :) Emma was soooooooooooooooo loved by her grandma and grandpa, I got to sleep in every morning, and Nate got to play Halo with my dad haha :) In other words, we had a blast!

Emma passed out on Aunt Kortney at the Aggie game :)

Cute pillows and curtains my mom and I made :)

Then we headed to New York for five days while Emma stayed with my parents. We missed her a ton, but she had so much fun with grandma that she didn't miss us at all!

So what were my all time favorite things!?
1) Obviously, getting to spend some time with Nate without the distraction of kids and school. It was like we were dating again! I was sad to come home and lose his 24/7 attention haha :)
2) I barely kept from bawling during Wicked! What a fun story and the music was awesome! My first Broadway experience has convinced me I need to watch more musicals! Good thing they come to Seattle :)

Inside the Gershwin Theater where we saw Wicked :)

The random dragon

Wicked was our favorite part of the trip! :)

Outside the Gershwin Theater

3) I actually really loved the audio tour of the Statue of Liberty. I guess I have missed taking history classes.

Statue of Liberty from the Ferry

View of Manhattan from Liberty Island

Audio tour at the Statue of Liberty

4) View from the Top of the Rock. Better than the view from the Columbia Tower in Seattle, but only slightly.

View from the Top of the Rock at sunset :)

5) Central Park, mostly just because it was fun to ride bikes together through it and go on little picnic dates. I've seen much prettier parks.

Picnic in Central Park

Beautiful pond and bridge in Central Park

6) We got to see some really awesome art at the museums! Poor Nate patiently put up with lots of nudes as we toured the Renaissance art :)

Museum of Modern Art - Van Gough

The real Starry Night!!!!!!!!!! :)

Salvador Dali

My fav - Monet!

Monet's waterlilies :)

Jackson Pollock

Metropolitan Museum of Art

Mummies!

Beautiful architecture!

The Holy Grail!

7) Coming home to my baby girl and having her be my best buddy again!

A few more random pics :)

Bus tour in the rain!

Grand Central Station

Grand Central again. Everyone in New York is so busy they don't even notice how beautiful some of their buildings are. I mean really, this is a train station?

Exploring Manhattan

Nate met Morgan Freeman

911 Memorial

Freedom Tower

Brooklyn Bridge

Nate and Ruddy, a friend from his mission that we stayed with :)

Museum of Natural History

T-Rex!

Outside the Manhattan Temple

Manhattan Temple

Cool statue of workers on the Rockefeller Building

Empire State building on 911

Times Square

A few things I noticed about the city:
1) It smells REALLY BAD! Haha especially to a pregnant nose. I actually think Manhattan smelled worse than El Salvador (a third world country!). I guess that's what happens when you pack that many people on a tiny island.
2) I really like my car. Also probably a pregnancy thing, but my back was KILLING me from walking around so much. I love my easy, drive where ever I want and there's always a free parking spot suburban life thank you very much :) Yes, I've been a bit spoiled growing up in Salt Lake. Taking the trains and subway to get around in New York was a fun adventure though.
3) I felt like I had already been there. I guess I've watched too many TV shows and movies featuring the city, but oddly, it didn't feel new at all. Maybe that's because my last vacations have all been outside of the US? The only thing that took me off guard was how FEW people there were (probably because no one wants to visit New York during the 911 anniversary).
4) I didn't get lost. Apparently, it's easier for me to tell which way I'm going when I can't see the sky. Nate was totally disoriented, and I was named our "city navigator."
5) While fun to visit, I realized just how rural my blood runs while in the city. Yes, I like my mall to be within driving distance, but I also like to see green fields flowing outside my window. I also like my grocery stores to be bigger than a gas station :) so no city living for us! Bring on the acres please!
6) Another pregnancy thing, but I was pretty disappointed in the food, with the exception of Little Italy.

We got yummy pasta in Little Italy :)

Little Italy

Carnegie Deli's cheesecake? Please! Too much flour! And their sandwiches? I almost decided to become a vegetarian when I saw how much meat they packed on those things! I am totally western when it comes to my diet. Bring on the veggies please! After eating there, we decided to eat grocery store salads in Central Park for the rest of the trip haha :)

7) Pedestrians rock! Streams of people would walk right out into the middle of the street if the traffic temporarily stopped. No fear at all! That was pretty humorous to me.

It was a much needed and enjoyed vacation! Now Nate is enjoying pulling people's teeth in his third year of dental school! So far, this year has been much nicer than last year :)

Also of note:

Emma turned two in August! She's a big girl now! Talking like crazy and saying "no" a lot!

This girl loves her sunglasses! And that thing in her mouth!

For those of you who didn't get to see the video:



Pregnancy update: I'm twenty weeks now and feeling pretty good. Actually, if it weren't for my chronic allergies/infections, I think I would feel amazing! As it is, I'm exhausted and needing to really push myself to get off the couch and be active! My sinuses hurt so bad! Other than that, not much to complain about. Little Nate-ito kicks a lot (probably going to be as full of energy as his sister), which is fun for mom right now because he's little and not hurting my ribs yet :) I've been having lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions already, but they're not painful. Emma likes to talk to the baby in mommy's tummy and sometimes even gives him kisses. Now we just need to teach her to be gentle!

Emma and I have been sleeping a lot during our month off! In a few weeks we will start watching little Tali (6 months) four days a week probably through next June/July. We're hoping to have Emma potty trained before Tali comes, but right now, Emma is adamantly opposed to it. Anyone have any great advice? I refuse to change three baby's diapers once mine is born!

My belly so far:

Just starting to show! It worked out perfectly because I was anxious to see the ultrasound (and make sure baby was healthy) before we told the whole world. Now he is ready for everyone to see him. And yes, I might already waddle occasionally :) We are really excited to have a little boy join the family!

Sorry for the long post!

Love,
Kamie